Coffee Products

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CANDLE

The Personality Hire

Name: The Personality Hire
Brand: Corporate Menace Coffee Co.
SKU: 8659458_22455
Price: 14.0 USD
Availability: InStock

$14.00

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Add it to the expense report. We will not ask questions.

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The Brief

Designed for people who refuse to blend into the org chart.

Turns out vibes are a qualification.

For the employee who's somehow everyone's favorite despite contributing absolutely nothing to the spreadsheet. Light this candle before your next Zoom call, after surviving another "circle back," or while perfecting the art of looking busy.

Clean burning, long lasting, and guaranteed to improve office morale more than another mandatory team building exercise.

Features
• 100% natural soy wax
• 100% cotton wick
• Premium glass jar
• Jar size: 2.8″ × 3.5″ (7.1 cm × 8.9 cm)
• Label size: 3″ × 2″ (7.62 cm × 5.08 cm)
• Net weight: 9 oz (255 g)
• Burns for 50 to 60 hours
• Made in the USA

Fragrance Notes
Rich Butter
Creamy Coconut
Black Pepper
Warm Cardamom
Soft Musk

Performance Review:
Exceeded expectations in smiling, socializing, and somehow getting promoted.

Premium Quality Made to survive the workweek

Tracked Shipping Carefully packed and tracked

Secure Checkout Protected payment processing

Corporate Approved No committee meeting required

Why it earned a calendar invite

Corporate gear with absolutely no interest in blending in.

Premium construction

Built with quality materials because your merch should last longer than the average corporate initiative.

Designed to get noticed

A conversation starter for people who have heard “circle back” one time too many.

Easy to gift, harder to forget

An excellent gift for coworkers, work spouses, finance bros, and your favorite corporate liability.

Decision required

Consider this your approval to become an HR concern.

Choose your options above and add it to the expense report.

Competitive analysis

Standard corporate merch has left the meeting.

Evaluation criteria	Corporate Menace	Generic company merch
Designed with a personality	Yes	Questionable
Premium-feel materials	Yes	Not guaranteed
Conversation-starting design	Yes	Usually not
Makes the workday less painful	Strong potential	Pending review