{"product_id":"barely-employed-hat","title":"Barely Employed Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou're still on payroll.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBarely Employed Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the professionals who have mastered the fine art of looking productive while wondering if today is the day IT locks them out. Perfect for surviving restructures, \"performance check-ins,\" and pretending your laptop update took three hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith a relaxed, low-profile fit and adjustable strap, it's built for coffee runs, unnecessary meetings, and maintaining the illusion that everything is under control.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerformance highlights:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLow-profile, unstructured fit with just enough confidence to make it through Monday\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePremium chino cotton twill construction\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAdjustable antique buckle for a custom fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEmbroidered eyelets for breathable, all-day comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCurved visor to help avoid eye contact when someone asks for a status update\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIdeal for layoffs that haven't happened yet, careers held together by Outlook reminders, and employees whose greatest achievement is making it through another quarter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmployment status:\u003c\/strong\u003e Active. \u003cstrong\u003eJob security:\u003c\/strong\u003e Under review.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":43101568467042,"sku":"8744032_7854","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":43101568499810,"sku":"8744032_7857","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spruce","offer_id":43101568532578,"sku":"8744032_8745","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey","offer_id":43101568565346,"sku":"8744032_12736","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki","offer_id":43101568598114,"sku":"8744032_7855","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/classic-dad-hat-black-front-6a4d90ef0b4e2.jpg?v=1783468298","url":"https:\/\/www.corporatemenace.com\/products\/barely-employed-hat","provider":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}