{"title":"Merch","description":"\u003cp\u003eRep the Corporate Menace brand with our official merch. From tees to hats and everything in between.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"corporate-menace-full-logo-black-polo-shirt","title":"Corporate Menace Full Logo - Black Polo Shirt.","description":"For the ones who send the follow-up email, take the extra meeting, and somehow still make tee time. This premium polo is built from thick, ultra-soft cotton with a clean tone-on-tone button placket that keeps you looking sharp whether you're closing deals, networking, or making moves after hours.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nComfortable enough for all-day wear. Sharp enough to remind everyone who's driving results.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThrow it on and represent yourself like a true Corporate Menace—because success is a mindset, and presence matters.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% combed ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e\n• Classic fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ribbed collar\u003cbr\u003e\n• Tone-on-tone 3-button placket\u003cbr\u003e\n• Straight hem with side slits","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":43048455471202,"sku":"2998962_20624","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":43048455503970,"sku":"2998962_20610","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":43048455536738,"sku":"2998962_20617","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":43048455569506,"sku":"2998962_20631","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43048455602274,"sku":"2998962_20638","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/Polo_Image.png?v=1782094492"},{"product_id":"corporate-menace-mug","title":"Corporate Menace Mug","description":"This isn't just a mug—it's a daily reminder that greatness runs on caffeine and unreasonable expectations.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBuilt tough, finished sleek, and ready for everything from early morning strategy sessions to late afternoon \"quick calls\" that somehow last an hour. Whether you're fueling the grind or pretending to enjoy decaf, this mug belongs on the desk of every true Corporate Menace.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBecause representing yourself as a Corporate Menace starts with what's in your hand.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPremium ceramic construction\u003cbr\u003e\nAvailable in 11 oz and 15 oz sizes\u003cbr\u003e\nGlossy finish for a clean, executive look\u003cbr\u003e\nLead and BPA-free\u003cbr\u003e\nMicrowave and dishwasher safe\u003cbr\u003e\nDesigned for coffee, and career-defining conversations\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCoffee. Chaos. Closing deals. Repeat.","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":43048488009826,"sku":"4854303_9323","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/black-glossy-mug-black-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a389a74cb519.jpg?v=1782094477"},{"product_id":"trucker-cap","title":"Corporate Menace Trucker Cap","description":"For the ones who make calls on the back nine and somehow turn a coffee run into a networking opportunity. This classic trucker is built for long days, sunny afternoons, and looking like you have three meetings scheduled—even when you don't.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nStructured up front with breathable mesh in the back, it's the perfect combination of comfort and confidence. Whether you're chasing birdies, building empires, or just representing the brand, this hat lets everyone know exactly what kind of menace they're dealing with.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBecause being a Corporate Menace isn't a title—it's a lifestyle.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n26% cotton, 74% polyester\u003cbr\u003e\nStructured six-panel design\u003cbr\u003e\nMid-profile fit with low-profile embroidery area\u003cbr\u003e\nHard buckram front panels for lasting shape\u003cbr\u003e\nBreathable mesh back\u003cbr\u003e\nPermacurv® visor with matching undervisor\u003cbr\u003e\nAdjustable snap closure for the perfect fit\u003cbr\u003e\nFits head circumferences 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9–60 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBuilt for sunshine, side hustles, and suspiciously productive \"days off.\"","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43049690660962,"sku":"1660187_8747","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/959bf49a-a733-4ea2-9516-8a65d55a52d3.png?v=1782410873"},{"product_id":"garment-washed-baseball-cap","title":"Corporate Menace Baseball Cap","description":"Some people call it laid-back. We call it off-the-clock executive wear.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWith a perfectly broken-in feel from day one, this classic baseball hat is built for coffee runs, networking lunches, and \"working remotely\" from places suspiciously close to a golf course. Soft, unstructured, and easy to pair with anything, it's the kind of hat that says you're relaxed—without ever looking like you've stopped winning.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBecause representing yourself as a Corporate Menace doesn't end when the laptop closes.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n100% cotton construction\u003cbr\u003e\nUnstructured, 6-panel, low-profile fit\u003cbr\u003e\nSoft crown for all-day comfort\u003cbr\u003e\nPre-curved visor with a worn-in look\u003cbr\u003e\nMatching fabric adjustable strap\u003cbr\u003e\nAntique brass buckle for a timeless finish\u003cbr\u003e\nFits head circumferences 21.65″–25.19″ (55–64 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFor the ones who take calls on \"PTO\", answer emails from the patio, and somehow make it all look effortless.\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43049694199906,"sku":"3225073_24534","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/otto-cap-18-772-black-front-6a395391eda3b.jpg?v=1782141859"},{"product_id":"corporate-menace-sticker-sheet","title":"Corporate Menace Sticker sheet","description":"Because not every thought belongs in a meeting—and not every laptop should look HR approved.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis sticker sheet features the greatest hits from the Corporate Menace collection, including \"Sip Happens,\" \"Caffeinated \u0026amp; Underpaid,\" \"Will Work for Espresso,\" \"Not HR Approved,\" and the iconic Corporate Menace logo. Whether you're decking out your laptop, water bottle, notebook, or office desk, these glossy stickers let everyone know exactly where your priorities lie: caffeine, chaos, and career advancement.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nRepresent yourself like a true Corporate Menace—one questionable workplace joke at a time.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIncludes all your favorite Corporate Menace designs\u003cbr\u003e\nGlossy finish for a premium look\u003cbr\u003e\nFast and easy application\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for laptops, water bottles, notebooks, phone cases, and more\u003cbr\u003e\nDesigned for hustlers, deal closers, and coffee-fueled overachievers\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWarning: May not be HR approved. Definitely boardroom approved.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDon't forget to clean the surface before applying your stickers.","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43049707864162,"sku":"8344391_12917","price":8.65,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/kiss-cut-sticker-sheet-white-front-6a3956520f4ff.jpg?v=1782142566"},{"product_id":"overworked-baseball-hat","title":"Overworked Baseball Hat","description":"For the chronically exhausted and aggressively undercaffeinated.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe “Overworked \u0026amp; Undercaffeinated” hat is built for long days, ignored PTO requests, and pretending everything’s under control after your third coffee. Low-profile fit, curved visor, and an adjustable strap so you can tighten it while management adds “one quick thing” to your workload.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% chino cotton twill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown\u003cbr\u003e\n• Adjustable strap with antique buckle","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43072991330402,"sku":"6926233_7854","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/classic-dad-hat-black-front-6a432ff1b745a.jpg?v=1782788113"},{"product_id":"living-the-american-dream-sticker","title":"Limited Edition: American Dream Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe dream isn't handed to you—it’s earned. Early mornings. Late nights. One more call. One more cup of coffee.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis limited edition Living the American Dream sticker is for the professionals chasing bigger goals, betting on themselves, and building a life they can be proud of. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, launching a business, or just refusing to settle, this sticker is a reminder that success favors those who show up.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePrinted on premium, durable vinyl, it's built to stick with you through every promotion, side hustle, and caffeine-fueled grind.\u003cbr\u003eHigh-opacity film that completely covers what's underneath\u003cbr\u003eBubble-free application for a clean, professional finish\u003cbr\u003eDurable adhesive vinyl made for everyday use\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePro tip: Clean the surface before applying for the best hold.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43090099634274,"sku":"7098843_10163","price":3.29,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/kiss-cut-stickers-white-3x3-lifestyle-3-6a491a01293a5.jpg?v=1783175695"},{"product_id":"coffee-dealer-oversized-faded-t-shirt","title":"Coffee Dealer Oversized Faded Tee","description":"Built for the dealer who never runs out of supply.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Coffee Dealer Oversized Faded Tee delivers a relaxed, vintage-inspired fit for those who believe the best connections are made over a fresh cup. With heavyweight, garment-dyed cotton and a perfectly broken-in look, it's the kind of tee that feels like an old favorite from day one.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe oversized silhouette is made for effortless layering, whether you're making the morning coffee run, closing deals at the office, or reminding everyone who keeps the workplace functioning before 9 a.m.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n100% premium carded cotton\u003cbr\u003e\nHeavyweight 7.1 oz.\/yd² (240 g\/m²) fabric for a substantial feel\u003cbr\u003e\nGarment-dyed and pre-shrunk for a worn-in vintage look\u003cbr\u003e\nRelaxed, boxy oversized fit\u003cbr\u003e\nDropped shoulders for effortless style\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWarning: You may be mistaken for the office's most valuable supplier.\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Faded Coal \/ S","offer_id":43093107900514,"sku":"1166759_34464","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Faded Coal \/ M","offer_id":43093107933282,"sku":"1166759_34466","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Faded Coal \/ L","offer_id":43093107966050,"sku":"1166759_34468","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Faded Coal \/ XL","offer_id":43093107998818,"sku":"1166759_34470","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Faded Coal \/ 2XL","offer_id":43093108031586,"sku":"1166759_34472","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/mens-oversized-faded-t-shirt-faded-coal-front-6a4b13d2867e9.jpg?v=1783305181"},{"product_id":"sunday-scaries-classic-unisex-tee","title":"Sunday Scaries Tee","description":"It's Sunday. Your inbox is already winning.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Sunday Scaries Tee is for anyone who's ever checked Slack \"just for a second,\" thought about Monday before brunch was over, or felt their blood pressure rise after hearing the words, \"Quick call tomorrow?\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMade from premium cotton with a structured fit that looks put together—even if you're mentally drafting tomorrow's to-do list. Whether you're squeezing every last minute out of the weekend or emotionally preparing for the 8:00 a.m. stand-up, this tee has your back.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n100% cotton for all-day comfort\u003cbr\u003e\nMidweight fabric (5.0–5.3 oz.\/yd²) built to survive Mondays\u003cbr\u003e\nStructured fit that stays sharp from weekend errands to emergency calendar invites\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43093121564770,"sku":"5575451_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43093121597538,"sku":"5575451_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43093121630306,"sku":"5575451_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43093121663074,"sku":"5575451_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43093121695842,"sku":"5575451_11550","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":43093122285666,"sku":"5575451_15843","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":43093122318434,"sku":"5575451_15844","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":43093122351202,"sku":"5575451_15845","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":43093122383970,"sku":"5575451_15846","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":43093122416738,"sku":"5575451_15847","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/e39bba8a-6df9-4f73-bfa8-fac5ecc11130.png?v=1783358341"},{"product_id":"office-siren-unisex-classic-tee","title":"Office Siren Tee","description":"Some people climb the corporate ladder. Others become the office rumor.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Office Siren Tee is for the coworker who somehow knows everyone's business, never misses happy hour, and has HR updating the handbook because of them. Whether the rumors are true is none of our concern.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCrafted from premium cotton with a structured fit that looks sharp from the morning coffee run to the after-work drinks that definitely count as \"team building.\" Comfortable, durable, and guaranteed to spark conversations around the water cooler.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n100% cotton for all-day comfort\u003cbr\u003e\nMidweight fabric (5.0–5.3 oz.\/yd²) made to survive office politics\u003cbr\u003e\nStructured fit that keeps its shape\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n**For legal reasons, this shirt is not HR approved.**\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"Corporate Menace Coffee Co.","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43093631369314,"sku":"5569543_11546","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43093631402082,"sku":"5569543_11547","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43093631434850,"sku":"5569543_11548","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43093631467618,"sku":"5569543_11549","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43093631500386,"sku":"5569543_11550","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ S","offer_id":43093632417890,"sku":"5569543_21691","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ M","offer_id":43093632450658,"sku":"5569543_21692","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ L","offer_id":43093632483426,"sku":"5569543_21693","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ XL","offer_id":43093632516194,"sku":"5569543_21694","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":43093632548962,"sku":"5569543_21695","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0596\/1331\/5170\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-ice-grey-front-6a4b112e03b91.jpg?v=1783304523"},{"product_id":"personality-hire-unisex-classic-tee","title":"Personality Hire Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey didn't hire you for your experience. 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